


one step closer (we're gonna be alright)

by paintedfoxx



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Here be angst, Lena get drunk and makes drunk phone calls, i really just want these two to be okay, post season five, they have to actually talk at some point, this was pure self-indulgence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26568655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paintedfoxx/pseuds/paintedfoxx
Summary: The phone rang for what seemed like ages. As it continued, it gave Lena a chance to actually consider what it was she was doing. Kara had to be asleep. Even if she did answer, what would a drunken conversation in the darkest part of the night accomplish? Lena prided herself on being logical, on her “little boxes” being kept neat and orderly and most importantlyfunctional. So what was it about the blonde woman that seemed to wreck everything Lena thought she could depend upon?Just as she had convinced herself to abandon this fruitless endeavor, the ringing stopped, replaced by a sleepyhello?that made her heart skip a beat.She hadanswered.ORAlone in her office and fueled by entirely too much expensive scotch, Lena attempts to break the cycle of Luthors and Supers hurting each other.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 15
Kudos: 265





	one step closer (we're gonna be alright)

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this one. 
> 
> I had planned for the conversation to go one way, and then I got caught up in feelings and Lena got caught up in being angsty. 
> 
> Please enjoy. :)

Late nights in the office were the worst.

The building was empty, save for a lonely security guard working the night shift. Without the faint buzz of busy bodies milling about just outside of her office door, or the muffled ringing of office phones, an overwhelming silence sat heavy in the abandoned halls that was hard to ignore.

The mountain of paperwork on her desk had been a reprieve. Something to focus on other than the crumbled ruins of her old life. Of a life _before_.

Before her brother used what she had believed to be his dying breath to turn her life completely upside down.

Before Kara stood crying before her, at the party, in the fortress. _Begging_.

Before Lena was forced to pick up the shattered remains of the once great walls surrounding her heart; built over years of one betrayal after another. A smile full of sunshine and sparkling blue eyes had, embarrassingly, been her undoing.

Kara Danvers had been a catalyst, that, for all her defenses, Lena had not stood a chance against.

She set her pen aside, picked up the glass set off to the side, and scowled when she found it empty. Lena rose from her desk and crossed the room, intent on a refill. Based on the current trajectory of her thoughts, and the frustrating lack of paperwork being completed, more alcohol was the only logical conclusion.

When she had successfully refilled her glass with a few more fingers of scotch, she settled back at her desk. A glance at the clock told her it was nearing two in the morning. She ignored the offending number and took a deep drink.

The scotch burned its way down her throat, but she didn’t so much as flinch. Instead, a pleased hum escaped her lips as she set the glass back down. She turned her attention back to the paperwork on the desk before her. The endless black lines ceased to make any sense, however. The words blurred together, passing aimlessly before her eyes.

Apparently she had had a bit more to drink than originally thought. She spied her phone to her left. Determination filled her, leaving no room for doubts or second thoughts. Fueled by expensive liquid courage, Lena picked up her phone and dialed the one person who stubbornly occupied her every waking thought, and, sometimes even the sleeping ones.

The phone rang for what seemed like ages. As it continued, it gave Lena a chance to actually consider what it was she was doing. Kara had to be asleep. Even if she did answer, what would a drunken conversation in the darkest part of the night accomplish? Lena prided herself on being logical, on her “little boxes” being kept neat and orderly and most importantly _functional_. So what was it about the blonde woman that seemed to wreck everything Lena thought she could depend upon?

Just as she had convinced herself to abandon this fruitless endeavor, the ringing stopped, replaced by a sleepy _hello?_ that made her heart skip a beat.

She had _answered_.

By the time it took her to process that fact, it had been several silent seconds, and she knew she had to say something before she got hung up on.

“Kara,” she started, clearing her throat. “I’m so sorry, did I wake you?” Stupid question. Of course she had.

Kara lied to her anyway. “No, no. What’s wrong?” The husky timbre of her sleep-filled voice didn’t give Lena the chance to prickle at the obvious lie.

“I – “ she began, then stopped. What _was_ wrong, besides everything? How could she justify calling Kara so late, knowing the fractured friendship they’d once had couldn’t be repaired over a single phone call?

“Lena?”

The soft question, only consisting of her name, brought her out of her doubtful spiral, only to send her straight into one of anger. She could almost feel something inside of her snap at the worry, the gentle concern that filled Kara’s tone.

“How _dare_ you?” Lena hissed. She didn’t give the woman on the other end a chance to defend herself before continuing. “How dare you keep up this cruel façade of concern? Making me believe you _care_ about how I’m feeling. About how if I stop for even a _second_ , you’re the only thing I can think about. How…dare you allow me to believe that this can be fixed by sweet apologies whispered in the middle of the night. That when the sun rises…the Luthor and the Super will have finally gotten it right, instead of letting it go so _wrong_.”

The last word came out more than a little broken as the fire faded and fizzled out. A bad taste was left in her mouth. Despite everything that has happened, Kara didn’t deserve her alcohol induced rage. The silence on the other end only further convinced Lena that she had made a grave error. She started to apologize, to say anything just to end whatever this was, when she was interrupted.

“Lena, I don’t understand. You’re angry because I answered when you called?” The confusion in Kara’s voice only twisted the sharp blade of guilt deeper into her stomach. A sigh blew out of Lena’s lips, and in a rare lack of decorum, she let her head drop to the desk in front of her. How did she explain something she didn’t even fully understand?

“No. No, I’m angry, Kara, because you make me want things that I can’t have.” Defeated, the words had no bite. Just a simple admission of a truth Lena had been in denial of accepting.

“And what is it that you can’t have?” Asked Kara, sounding more awake now.

Lena didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset at the loss of the sleepy voice.

“Nothing. I should go, you need to get back to sleep.”

“No. Lena, you don’t get to do that.” It seemed to be Kara’s turn to be frustrated. “You don’t get to call me at two in the morning, yell at me, and then leave when I try to understand. It has been _weeks_ since anyone has heard from you. After…after Lex you just disappeared.” There was no anger in her tone, only more of that damned concern. Kara’s seemingly endless compassion would likely never cease to confuse Lena.

She took a deep breath. Tried to gather her thoughts, Kara deserved at least that.

“I – I know. I just need some time. I had to – I had to process it all. And I didn’t know how I would…who I would be on the other side of that,” Lena admitted. She felt a sense of déjà vu, a memory of a conversation had long ago in this very office, in fact.

A sigh came from the other end, followed by some unidentified shuffling. Lena assumed Kara was sitting up. “You didn’t have to do that alone. Things might be different, but I’m still your friend.”

Lena could only manage a choked hum in response. Were they still friends? Kara had said she forgave her for what had happened between them, but Lena had been terrified they had just been empty words.

After everything they had done to each other, how could things ever be _normal_ again?

She didn’t notice the tears that had pricked her eyes until one began to trickle down her face.

“Oh, _Lena_ ,” Kara whispered, and the dam broke.

Tears flowed unrestrained, her body shook with muffled cries, and like the first break of sunlight through a storm, there was Kara’s soft voice.

“We both made awful mistakes. We fought, we hurt each other. None of that should have happened. We both should have trusted the other. But Lena, none of that means that everything is over. People make mistakes all the time. Humans _and_ kryptonians. It’s how we recover that defines who we are. I _know_ who you are, Lena Luthor. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it until my voice goes hoarse; you have the most beautiful soul of anyone I have ever met. You have so much love to give, keeping it all locked behind those huge walls around your heart is not only hurting you, but it’s robbing the world of something so pure and selfless.” There was a pause as Kara seemed to take a breath. Lena’s tears had slowed, but hadn’t stopped. They fell for an entirely new reason, now. Kara’s voice returning kept her from analyzing that too deeply. “We can talk about this more in the morning, after we’ve both gotten some sleep. For now, though, just trust me when I say it’s not over, alright? You’re not alone. You have us, you have _me_.”

Lena could only manage a sniffle in response. The buzz of the alcohol had long abandoned her, leaving her feeling raw and exposed. For once, though, she found she didn’t mind. It seemed she had been wrong. She had always compared Kara to something of a chainsaw, something loud and destructive, hacking carelessly through the thorns curling protectively around her heart. With Kara’s gentle assurances still ringing in Lena’s ear, she realized she had it all wrong. Kara wasn’t destruction, she was compassion, a craftsman carefully avoiding the thorns, finding the blossoms of hope still hanging on. She hadn’t meant to blindly tear through her defenses, she had braved Lena’s jagged edges and broken ruins, and somehow managed to find the heart still beating despite the mess surrounding it.

Her new revelation left her feeling both exhausted, and unbelievably brave. The heady combination fueled her next words.

“Stay on the phone with me?” She pleaded.

“Of course,” came the whispered reply.

Relief so strong it threatened to overwhelm her flooded over Lena. A soft sigh escaped her, and she murmured her thanks as she rose from her desk chair. It wasn’t ideal, but going home in her current state seemed like an impossible feat. Her couch was the only alternative, and she sank gratefully into its plush cushions. Kara was put on speaker while she kicked off her heels and took her hair down from its tight bun.

After settling into a comfortable position on the couch, she picked up her phone again, resting it close to her. It gave the illusion of having the blonde woman close, and if she closed her eyes, she could almost hear the other woman’s soft breathing.

After several minutes of peaceful silence, Lena took a deep breath.

“Kara?”

“Yes?”

“I missed you. So much it hurt,” Lena quietly admitted. She could feel the tears that had dried against her cheeks, and didn’t care to wipe them away. If they stood any chance at being _something_ , they had to start with honesty.

She couldn’t tell if the soft woosh of air coming from the other end was a gasp or a sigh. “I missed you too, Lena. More than you know.”

“Tell me sometime?”

“Only if you promise to try to sleep,” Kara replied. At least some things never changed. Kara’s endless concern put Lena even further at ease.

“Deal.”

The line fell silent, save for shuffling that Lena assumed was Kara getting comfortable. Then, there was nothing at all. Lena slipped into a sleep more peaceful than anything she had been able to achieve in months, despite the cramped space of her couch.

\-----

Sometime later, a faint breeze disturbed the otherwise still air of the office. The sky was just beginning to lighten, the promise of dawn, a new day, a new chance, blooming on the horizon. Lena didn’t stir, unaware of the kyrptonian entering her office through the balcony doors. She remained asleep as Kara silently crossed the office. A blanket was unfolded and ever so gently laid across Lena’s sleeping frame, then carefully tucked around her. A soft pair of lips lightly brushed a tear-stained cheek, causing a subconscious smile to form on Lena’s lips. The swish of air that announced Kara’s departure was equally ineffective of waking the Luthor.

\-----

When dawn broke and sunlight inched its way into her office, Lena woke blissfully warm, and surrounded with the unmistakable scent of Kara. Instead of getting up right away, she burrowed deeper into the soft blanket that covered her, and took a deep breath. While they still had a long way to go before they could be considered okay, one thing was for sure; things between the Luthor and the Super would never be the same. But instead of being afraid, Lena found only cautious excitement for what lay ahead.

**Author's Note:**

> (title from Find My Way Back by Eric Arjes) 
> 
> I also want to say thank you for the overwhelming response to my last post! I can't tell you the amount of confidence it gave me, knowing people were not only reading what I had written, but liked it. So thank you so, so much. 
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr: www.tumblr.com/blog/apaintedfoxx


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